In My Words ...

o_0 Wooooops!

2009-06-26T04:56:00.000-07:00

Oh my God! Who says life in Pakistan is not busy? Darn! I'm like TOTALLY busy these days. But aik baat tu hai yahan logoon k pas BOHAT faltoo time hai milney milaney ka I understand k ye unka pyar hai (As my mumma tells me) But than I've my own businesses to look after, right.

Anyways, YAHOOOO I finally took commerce and yeah I got admitted in Tabbanis School of Accountancy. Don't ask me how! I did it! I convinced my parents to let me take Commerce. A lot of thanks to Allah jee.

Hmmm! O yeah, Sorry to all of my blog friends for not letting you guys updated as TONS of things happened with me ... It was like, I was/am on a roller coaster ride the day I left Charlottesville. Washington DC was THE BEST part. I still miss my friends who live in other parts of Pakistan.

I'll defenitely try to get back to blogosphere as soon as possible, BUT aik tu yahan net ki speed UFFFFFFF hai!

I requested Daddy to arrange DSL at home and he said he will. So as soon as I'll get that, I'll be back and you might be glad to know that you all were missed, specially the blogs I used to read regularly.

See ya all, soon!

I didn’t know that I don’t have a right to dream.

2009-06-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

(It's just a random story I wrote, I don't even remember when)

My dad brought me my mom, my 4 brothers and 2 sisters to work in a city. That was the time when I took initiative of making mistakes; I started to set up some dreams in my life without consulting with my adults, my first mistake was the time when I started to dream about getting education higher than 5^th grade and unfortunately this dream came true. At the age of 11 when I started working in the bungalow right in front of my home (we lived on a plot where we made our shelter, a literate person would call it illegal territory). The lady I worked for was very nice with me, all of her daughters were married, her husband and son were in Bahrain and she lived all alone in that luxurious bungalow. She fixed the deal with my mom on a very good amount of money and I was in charge of her humungous home where I was supposed to do cleaning, washing, cooking and dusting. Once while I was dusting I found her reading a book and unintentionally I said the title out loud “Wuthering Heights”.

House owner: (While sitting up straight) I didn’t know that you can read. Did you ever attend any school?

Me: Yes, ma’am I did till 5^th grade.

House owner: I never knew about that. Do you like to study?

Me: Yes, ma’am I wish I could go to school and make my fortune. (I said while cleaning a vase with a cloth)

House owner: Would you like to go to school?

Me: Yes ma’am I would like to, but my parents can’t afford it.

House owner: (Now taking of her spectacles) I’ll pay for you and I’ll get all of your uniform and books.

Me: (In mind) what? Am I dreaming? No, I should say no, it would cost her a lot. (Now out loud) “Ma’am that would cost you a lot.”

House owner: Oh no that’s fine for me, I won’t mind paying for someone’s education it would be a jihad for me.

Me: I just don’t know how to thank you for this I would appreciate if tonight while you’ll escort me to my home if you could talk with my parents.

House owner: Sure I will.

Night never seemed to come that day I was excited like anything I just couldn’t wait to put my hands on my books and memorize them, I started to plan that I’ll be the best student in my school so that I’ll get money for my college. After waiting a whole lot night finally arrived I went to my home with my house keeper.

House keeper: (After entering in my home) Mr. and Mrs. Ghulam, Misha told me that she would like to go to school.

Mumma: We can’t afford! (She snapped) And “Baap bara na beta, sab se bara rupaiya”

House keeper: I knew this and so I am more than happy to pay her school fee and all of her school expenses.

Mumma: Umm. We need to talk about this.

Dad: Talk about what Shahista? We should thank her for paying for our child, if Misha would study and she would teach our other kids too and Allah would be happy with us.

Mumma: Allah would be happy anyways she got education till 5^th grade, think of all the villagers, what would they say? Sending a girl all alone to the school, think about it.

Dad: We don’t live in village any more and Misha will go to school and this is my final decision!

House keeper: You’ll be happy one day for this. I’ll get her school accessories tomorrow and from this Monday you’ll join school Misha.

Me: Thank you so much Begum Sahiba! I …

Mumma: What about her work? We can’t afford her to sit at home and fill crap in her mind rather than earning some money. (She said bitterly)

House keeper: Oh well, she would work at my home and I’ll help her with her home work I’ll just keep one more maid so that Misha won’t have to that much and don’t worry her pay would be same. (She explained politely)

Dad: We are grateful of you, Shahista what are you staring at? Go and bring some cold for Begum Sahiba …

House Keeper: Oh no, thank you so much, I’ll leave, see you tomorrow Misha.

I was over-whelmed by the thought of going to school and couldn’t wait till Monday and get my hands and brains into books. I proved my self as a good student and remained active in my job too so that Begum sahiba would be willing to pay for my school. Time passed within a blink of an eye and soon I was in 10^th grade when Begum Sahiba informed me that her husband and son were coming from Bahrain. I got busy in cleaning already clean house and helped her in setting his son’s room. She gave me list of her son’s favorite food asked me to practice them well and I followed all of her requests happily. Soon it was the time for arrival of her son and husband and time to say good bye for me to my school life. I was satisfied for getting education till 10^th grade and enabling my siblings to at least read a newspaper.

I was reading an English magazine in Begum Sahiba’s kitchen when I heard people laughing in living room. I grabbed my duppatta and covered my head knowing that her husband and son were in home. I heated up the meal as told by begum sahiba and arranged every thing on dinning table.

Me: Begum Sahiba, I have served meal on table.

Begum Sahiba: Misha, meet Mazhar my husband and Ali my son.

Me: Salaam. (Setting my duppatta perfectly on my head)

Mazhar: Salaam. Blessings on you.

I smiled and all of them smiled back, I looked at Ali’s face he was handsome.

I ate my meal in kitchen and waited for them to get done with their meal while I ate and made plans for next day, since now I didn’t had school any more so Begum Sahiba kept me back for whole day job. I cleaned dinning room after they were done and headed towards door where I usually waited for begum sahiba to escort me to my home.

Begum Sahiba: Ali, son would you please escort Misha to home from now on, please.

Ali: Sure, no problem. If Misha won’t mind.

Me: No, it’s fine. Thanks!

Than, we headed towards main door.

Ali: Misha is a pretty name. (He said while folding his arms)

Me: Thanks.

Ali: Who kept this name?

Me: Umm. I don’t know.

Ali: Ask you parents. (Now smiling)

Me: Ok.

Ali: And than tell me tomorrow.

Me: Ok.

Ali: Good Bye! Good night!

Me: Ok. (This was the first time a guy was polite with me I had never met any guy who spoke this softly with me and above all appreciated me ….)

Mumma: Who was that guy? (She ripped my thoughts with her bitter tone)

Me: He is Ali, Begum Sahiba’s son and from now on he’ll escort me.

Mumma: Oh it’s good; boys in this street are not fine any more.

I handed her the food I used to bring from Begum Sahiba’s home, they never used to eat any food twice and so she had asked me to take any food I want because it was better than throwing.

In morning while I packed my lunch for my dad I asked him.

Me: Dad, who kept my name and what does it means?

Dad: Misha … your granny did, and it means “Resemblance of God”.

Me: Your lunch is on your bicycle. Have a good day!

After packing lunch for my brothers and dusting home I headed towards my work. Before I had even knocked on door Ali opened it for me with a crooked smile on his face, I ignored smile on his face, covered my head perfectly with duppatta and headed towards kitchen and begun with my usual chore, cooking. I told begum sahiba after I served lunch on table, while I did their laundry. As soon as they were done eating I started clearing table while I was doing that, eventually Ali started collecting plates and dishes and headed towards kitchen.

Me: Thanks for doing it but I can do it alone.

Ali: I am not doing your work it’s just my way to say thank you for such a delicious meal.

Me: Oh! You’re … I’ll do rest … thanks …. No …. Well come …!

That was all I could blabber while he smiled at me. His smiled made me nervous I didn’t know why was he doing that with ME? I mean my own male relatives never smiled at me why was he? And what was I for him? A maid? Yes, that what I was. Any ways may be I am just taking it in other way he’s grown up abroad definitely he would be broad minded. With these thoughts I was done with all the cleaning and started making dinner. This time I waited for all of them to get away from table so that I didn’t have to get hypnotized with some ones smile and unusual help. After I was done with my work I waited on the usual place for someone to escort me home.

Ali: I am sorry; did I make you wait long? Let’s go.

Me: It’s Ok. Thanks.

It was quite cold outside and wind was quite chilly.

Me: Ummm …. You asked me to find out meaning of my name …

Ali: I’ve a name; I would appreciate if you would call me with my name. Ali.

What? I can’t take a male’s name. Certainly not. He is …. He ripped my thoughts.

Ali: I don’t think my name is that difficult Misha.

Me: No... It’s like I can’t take your name … I mean …

Ali: Oh common Misha.

No, friends take each others name and I am just his maid. What in the world is he upon?

Ali: See you tomorrow, good night.

Me: Umm …

Ali: Practice saying some thing else besides “Umm” please. And he smiled his crooked smile.

I rushed inside home kept the food in fridge in buried my self on my pillow in his thoughts. What in the world was he upon? Or why does it concern me? I mean he lived in abroad he was grown up there so it definitely made sense that he was this frank and polite and smiled at girls even to his maid. Didn’t it make him nice? Isn’t he the kind of guy I always asked to God in my prayers? But than … he’s literate and rich whereas I am his maid. These thoughts battled in my mind for the rest of the night and I couldn’t sleep. I did my usual chores of morning and headed towards work. Begum Sahiba had left a note for me in kitchen which mentioned that they won’t be at home for lunch but will come for dinner. I started cleaning home and watered plants, prepared dinner and than started reading magazine in living room. I was half way done through magazine when I heard

Ali: I didn’t know you could read.

Me: Yeah, I have done matriculation.

Ali: That’s impressive. (He smiled)

Me: Thanks. (I smiled back)

Ali: Are you willing to tell me meaning of your name? (Now, he smiled with mischievousness in his eyes)

Me: Yeah, it means resemblance of God. My granny liked this name.

Ali: Sure you are.

Me: Sorry, what am I?

He kept on staring at me. It wasn’t making me uncomfortable I wanted to stare back at him but I just couldn’t, but I wanted to, I wanted to answer back all the questions he had in his eyes but wall of society came in my mind and I knew I didn’t had any confidence to face it. I had to leave when I heard Begum Sahiba calling me to serve dinner; I don’t know why I was perplexed towards Ali I wished if he would come again and help me in clearing table just so that I could look at his perfect face again with his smile which was most comfortable smile I had ever experienced.

After they were done eating I sprinted to clear the table wishing to see him. I knew out come of all this won’t be satisfying but I couldn’t help my self. He was there. He seemed like he was waiting for me too. We talked without speaking, understanding every unspoken word. After I was done with my work I headed towards main door. He was standing there calmly smiling. We started walking. I kept on wondering that how did all of a sudden silence became comfortable with him.

Me: Good night, Ali.

Ali: I am glad you said my name, rapid progress huh, good night, sweet dreams.

Me: (That means I’ll be watching him in my dreams) See you tomorrow.

I slept peacefully that night.

Now, I couldn’t wait to go for work but I had to do all of my usual chores.

Soon I was in their kitchen making lunch for them and Begum Sahiba told me to prepare custard for dessert tonight. After I was done with cleaning I started to boil milk for dessert. I had no clue why was I staring on the plates he had touched this afternoon, after a while I heard milk falling down pot and …

Ali: Stop! Don’t!

He touched my hands and saved them from picking up milk pot which was on flames even though I hadn’t touched the pot but my skin under his skin was all boiling and my brain froze I was stunned, I couldn’t move, my body felt like it touched a cold stone, every single nerve in my body had acid in them.

Ali: Misha, are you Ok? … Misha? … Misha?

*Beat*

Ali: What were you up to honey? It was just some milk, what would have happened of it burned your hands? (Sorrow in his voice)

And my tears said ALL I wanted to say.

*Beat*

Ali: So why didn’t you go to college? I guess financial problem?

Me: Yes, I badly wanted to.

Ali: You can still continue, once we get to Bahrain.

Me: Hmmm, that doesn’t make much sense.

Ali: Oh. I don’t think. That I ever mentioned. That. I love you.

I was completely numb. But I struggled to say.

Me: What?

Ali: C’mon it’s not hard for a matriculated girl to understand 3 simple words. *Beat* I know it’s a lame joke.

Me: (That made me laugh anyways.) I understood that part, but, I mean it’s me Misha here, are you sure you aren’t mistaking?

*Beat*

I know I’m not making sense.

Ali: (With a grin on his face) so what do you think about that?

Me: I “can’t” think about that ... and it’s better if you stop thinking that too, because that wont leads you any where good and I would end up in trouble.

Ali: My, my, girl I meant what I just said. I said I love you and I mean it, trust me. I’ll be your shield sweet heart.

Tears streamed down my eyes.

Me: Ali, please don’t do that. (And than I turned to go inside home)

Ali: Think about that over-night, please.

How could I even think about falling on love with a guy? I mean how in the world he can forget about all the differences we have, class difference, society, and education … an endless list. No ways, this can ever happen, never, never ever.

With tears in my eyes all these thoughts I laid down to get some sleep.

In morning before leaving for work I looked and mirror and imagined him standing right beside me, we both looked good together, I guess. I felt my blood streaming towards my face, making it all red.

Lost in (his) thoughts I went for work. I felt different working while I worked there. Every corner I used to clean seemed to bring me internal satisfaction. I felt like as if I’m owner of this home and I would run all around the home as if I were a new bride blushing with all the pride. And that was the biggest mistake I ever did in my life. I started to enjoy the feeling of love. I made a mistake to feel, it was my fault that I didn’t stopped my feelings and I just allowed them to fly freely.

Two weeks was the time in which “I” lived my life, and than Ali had to leave for Bahrain.

Ali: So, I talked with my parents and they would come to your home tonight with a proposal for our engagement.

Me: What? You kidding me right? I mean what did you mom said? And your dad? What about … that I’m just a maid? And …

Ali: Sshhh …. You talk a lot, but on a wrong time, he said teasingly.

Me: But …

Ali: Again?! (He smiled) It was hard to convince them but not impossible.

Me: You sure?

He kissed my forehead and I got my answer.

It was intense, really intense when his parents came at my home. Needless to mention about the ungratefulness my parents showed towards them. It was decided that me and Ali would get engaged within two days since he had to leave for Bahrain. Definitely my parents couldn’t afford a thing so his parents made all the arrangements for the ceremony. I don’t remember how I looked that night as a bride but I do remember what Ali said “You shouldn’t have done that!” My eyes asked “What?”, “Seduce all the guys and resent all the girls here”. I rolled my eyes.

He left me with a promise and I trusted him that he would come back and take me away forever.

I didn’t work there anymore but I still used to go there to help my mother in law. Exactly after 2days of my engagement Ali left and right after 4 days ….

Right after 4days my parents ordered me to marry this random guy who was not only a drug dealer but also an uneducated and horrible person. I didn’t even know him.

And later I found out that I wasn’t marrying him I was getting sold.

Me: I just want to remind you guys that I’m engaged! And I won’t let you guys do anything with me. Mind it! It’s MY life and I’ve total right to live the way I want it.

Mom: I knew you would say that I knew there would be a day when you would tell us what to do and what not. The day you continued school made it clear to me that you would think … that you know more than us, but you don’t! And we are your parents and we are the ones to make your decisions NOT you.

Me: Why do you want to sell me? It’s not decent.

Mom: Right, what you did was quite decent, right? A love affair with a total random guy. How decent!

Me: Are you sure, you’re my mom? I tried to speak but my voice wasn’t supporting me.

Mom: Now, you don’t even respect us! I don’t want to hear anymore and just to let you know tonight Bakhtawar (The horrible guy) would come to pick you up. He likes you, he looked at you on your engagement and so he’s a handsome amount of money. And besides once you’ll spend a night with him, you’ll know ….. Hmmm …. Good old days with his dad.

I was staggered. My mind was totally b-l-a-n-k.

I don’t know at what time I was picked up from my home and I ended up at that home (Brothel).

I have no memories of that night, and I don’t regret it.

I remember him cursing on me later in morning “Can’t believe I paid for this dead body, no girl ever gives ME this response” and he left me, but others kept on coming and had their chance and “each” one of them left while cursing on me and finally I was reserved for the job of maid since I was not leaving a good impression on customers.

Days passed, months passed and years passed and I found out that it’s not just me it was business of my so called parents to sell daughters. I did heard about Ali, that he did came back within two weeks, tried to find me but my parents never told him a thing. I heard he cried like crazy roamed all around the city to find me and returned back to where he belonged.

That was the moment I realized that this is what I was supposed to do, spend my days grooming myself and spend my nights as a whore. Why in the world I didn’t realized that getting educated, using brains, falling in love were the things i didn’t had right to do. I was never “allowed” to do that. My responsibilities were to earn for my family till I grew up and than to sale my virginity. I just didn’t had a “right” to dream.

Can anyone stop time for me, please?!

2009-05-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

{Ok, so I know its not worth posting but I wanna post it because ..... hmmm.... Awaain, I dunno}

My lord! I've like TONS of things to do and I've no idea where in the world time is running.

I need to:

* Go to Fiona's slumber party.
* Hang out with Jenny at put-put golf.
* Sam Toet realized this Friday that I won't be here for Summer so she wants to throw a farewell party for me. *Awww!*

* Ohhh! I've to cook, for the party tomorrow! *Fingers crossed*

I've decided to cook these things:

- Biryani

- Cholay

- Kachorees

- Tarkari

- Pakoray

- Steam broast

- Custard (Haye, mai kitni 'sughar' ho gai hun =p)

* PACKING! *Ewwie face* Hate it! I don't like to pack up, it's so tough and I haven't shopped for any one, I hate shopping. I hope my family would understand that.

* I gotta go and Down town. [I'll miss it terribly. Mud house, crowd, graffiti wall, library, Ci's Ci's pizza, pavement ..... Where would I get all these back in Karachi?!]

* Thank you notes for teachers and family.

* Face book friends for the party this Wednesday.

* Clean room. (It means to clear drawers and stuff)

* Laundry.

* Recycle stuff.

I think I'm done writing, because this list would go for forever and I just wanted to post some thing. =p

New seat belt law

2009-05-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

This becomes effective August 1, 2009.

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive

testing on a newly Designed seat belt.

Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 95%

Only when the belt is properly installed.

Correct Installation is illustrated below.......

Please pass on to family and friends.
THIS MAY HELP SAVE A LIFE!

This can really save lives and lower blood pressure by 40%

From Pakistan to United States of America

2009-05-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

This post includes all the goody goody things I did this year. So, please don't read it!
And besides it's really long. So, I hope you won't waste your time!

I was born on 28th March 1992 in hands of loving and caring Muslim parents and since than I lived in Karachi, Pakistan. I got my elementary and high school education from Sultan Mohamed Shah Aga Khan School, where I developed skills like; public speaking, debating, acting, reading, writing, using technology and than conducting sessions on occasions like Global Youth Service Day and International educational week and that made me confident on my skills and urged me to serve people.

iEARN, YES program gave me impression to enhance my skills and be the change I wish to see in the world.

I was placed in Charlottesville, Virginia and was warmly welcomed by Sam, my host dad who is a doctor, Cyndy, my host mom, who is a home stay mom and Anna, my host sister, who is in 7th grade.

I was well aware about the stereotypes regarding Pakistan before coming to USA, but I never knew that people would ask me such odd questions and gladly I know how to resolve these issues. Being a teenager I know every thing matters for esteem and so first I threw my entire ego aside and started to accept things calmly. I made my mind to answer all the questions which create confusions in the mind of people. For example; once a high school friend of mine asked me abruptly “What is your relationship with Osama Bin Laden?” I changed it in a humorous way and said “Yeah he is my uncle!” (And we both laughed) I explained him that I don’t even know that person and made him clear that as “all” Americans are not Bush and so “all” Muslims are not Osama, and thus good and bad people are part of every society, due to my calm and polite responses students became curios regarding me and my culture (Pakistani culture) and so I decided to give them a presentation during International Educational Week regarding the life of Pakistani people and also by giving them some souvenirs from Pakistan, I actively participated in International club and arranged a diversity week in my high school during which I did henna for my friends, made Pakistani food for them and gave presentation about Pakistani weddings which my American friends and teachers adored for its colors. I also arranged a Fashion show in which I wore Sindhi traditional dress and made my American friends wear dresses of others provinces, they wondered about the Muslim way of clothing and I tranquilly replied that “Can you imagine playing soccer in jeans?” they said “no” and I replied with a smile on my face, that’s why we wear “shalwar” (kind of like lose pants of light material) and we cover our whole body to prevent our selves from sun burn. During that time I got interviewed by NBC Channel 29 due to my participation in “Our Story” program in which I hosted dinner for my high school friends and made them eat with hands like the way we eat and it was fun; those laughter, funny comments and satisfying smiles of my friends still reverberate in my mind.

As I shared above that American High School provided me a platform to remove misconceptions, it also gave a stage to try new roles. I played Lacrosse during my High School year which definitely enabled me to make friends and try a thing which I was sure I would never be able to do in back in Pakistan. I became active member of several clubs; especially Key club through which I was able to do 100 hours of community services with my friends. I balanced my academic and extra curricular activities efficiently and so I got a special certificate from my Marketing class where I secured 100% marks in my exams and showed an exceptional performance, they gave me a certificate and a badge to recognize my potential and appreciate my efforts. I was also given an opportunity to become layout editor of literary magazine “Graffiti”, which was too much of work with my busy schedule of studies, sports, clubs, friends and family but I am glad that I managed all of that. I also got certification for my internet marketing class and secured highest score in my school. I was also recognized on behalf of student body to discuss issues like racism and segregation of international students for a panel discussion with some members of community. I tutored my American friends and in return I got their friend ship which was truly worth it. Since I wanted people to respect me and my values I did same for them, I tried new activities with them listened and respected there opinions tried their dresses and let them try mine and created a symbiotic learning process among us. I proved the things I was telling them by my attitude because it’s always fun to be with people learn new things and “adapt” them, that’s how I tried to clear mutual false concepts.

During month of April I got scholarship to attend BUBW conference in Baltimore, Maryland which was one of the best things I ever did in my life. That conference did things which almost all of the organizations and NGO’S fail to do, i-e: to make 21 countries sit together, discuss issues, humor each other, eat on same table, play games together, forgetting about social and racial differences but remembering one fact that we all are humans. When I came back from the conference after tearful byes and with no voice that was because of all the shouting I did there my host mom told me that as soon as I left my host sister Anna mentioned “I already miss Maham!” and I think that was adorable and I was contented to think and proud on my self that I bonded a good relationship with her.

Living with American family and friends assisted me to celebrate similarities and embrace differences. I became more tolerant towards people and their values and gave me new perspective towards people, I noticed that Jews here grow their beard to strengthen their religion same goes for our religious leaders, nuns here cover their heads, same is for women in my country the way teenagers act here is more or less same as teenagers in my country, the way my parents cared about me is more or less same as my host parents treated me here in USA, all they cared about was my security, they co-operated with me in every thing they could, rectified on my mistakes and appreciated on my achievements and this feeling was mutual since they treated me like their daughter I took care of them like I did for my natural parents, I used to help around house without getting asked and did my chores without giving them any chance to complain. I often cooked dinner for them, gave them mementos from Pakistan, watched movies with them, shared my experiences with them, appreciated them on every small thing and enjoyed every thing with them. I traveled a bunch of places with them including, Williams burg, Richmond, Chesapeake, West Virginia, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, New York City, South Carolina, North Carolina, Florida, Orlando, Dallas, Texas and Georgia. I went on tons of hikes and camps with them because my host family enjoyed being out doors, we usually used to had book discussions on our dinner table since we all liked reading books.

While I lived with American family I got chance to rejoice on occasions like; Thanks giving, Halloween, Christmas, Valentines Day, St.Patrick’s day, Pie day which was undeniably awesome. On each occasion I visited my host dad’s nursing home and distributed cards and a small gift for every patient. On occasions like Eid I wore shalwar kameez to the nursing home and had to answer all funny questions about my duppatta. I cooked traditional Pakistani dishes for my host family and friends and made them eat with their hands needless to mention about difficulty they were facing for fun and thing which makes me glad is that they were enjoying it and even one of them had his Face book status updated as “Was eating with hands! We love Maham <3”.

I would like to thank Ma’am Farah Kamal for her support and confidence she endowed within us, all the alumni’s for their genuine advices and iEARN network for providing me this opportunity to excel my skills, eradicate misconceptions about Islam and Pakistan and have bonds of friendship, harmony and prosperity.

I would suggest my YES fellows never to panic in any situation and I ensure you that you would be in safe hands here and I guarantee you that you’ll have best time of your life here only if you want. Living with American family would surely be a fun filled experience only if you’ll perform the chores you’re asked to do, keep up good grades, eat healthy, sleep well, be active and create a mutual relation of learning. Mingling with Americans won’t be tough once you keep your mind open, be tolerant towards others, respect their opinions and appreciate them for their little deeds. I give you all my best wishes for your forth coming year. I know you all would have best times of your life.

Rickshaw Literature

2009-05-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

I found this piece while I was going through my diary. The page mentioned that it was last preliminary exam and on our way back to my home we kept record of Rickshaw Literature:

* Jinney apni maa nu sataya uney sari umer rickshaw he chalaya =p

* Malik ki gari driver ka pasina, chalti hai road pe ban k hasina =p

* Mai bara ho k corolla bano ga o_O

* Kabhi agey se atey ho, kabhi peechey se atey ho, aye zalim horn baja baja k line kio martey ho ?!

* Maa ki dua janat ki hawa, baap ki bud dua ja beta rickshaw chala =p

* Tu ashiq hai gulab ka, mai ashiq terey shabab ka, teri tasveer merey dil mai hai, tu kia faida naqab ka ^_^

* Himmat hai tu par kar, warna bardasht kar o_O

* Aj ki larki bhi kamal karti hai, Kalma tu ata nai English mai baat karti hai =p =p ;)

A night to remember

2009-05-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

He would see her every Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday in mud house at 5:30pm, 6:00pm and 4:00pm respectively. Every Tuesday she would come directly from her work, and would sit near the window. She would untie her hairs, take out a book and would contact the only flower on the table he used to place on her table. On Tuesdays she used to drink a cup of tea with 2 table spoon of milk and 1 tea spoon of sugar, brown sugar. He used to sit right across her table and would order same thing, they used to stir in their cups 12 times, motion of both of the spoons used to be same and on the eleventh round they would exchange a tiny smile, without looking each other. And around 8:30pm they both would stretch with the exchange of quick glances. That was all of their conversation.

On Saturdays she used to sit in the middle of the café and he used to sit right across her table. Both of them worked on their laptops and drank green tea in which they squeezed 4 drops of lemons together. And that was all of their conversation for Saturday.

On Sundays both of them used to drink hot chocolate and would just stare at each other as if they were having a deep discussion, she would periodically flip her hairs at the back of her ear and he would smile his crooked smile, a perfect smile.

On 31^st December, Tuesday café Mud house was crowded and a couple was sitting on her usual place right near window. She entered in Mud House and headed towards her place.

Waiter: Ma’am, would you, mind sharing table with that gentle man today, please?

She was looking down and then checked time on her wrist watch and replied. “It’s Ok I can go somewhere else (And than she raised up her face and looked in waiter’s direction which was towards him.) “Off course, sure I can share table with that gentle man”. She smiled lightheartedly. This was the first time had heard her voice so clearly, he was trying to find out the reason that why did every single nerve in his body was turning into a live wire, but she ripped his thoughts and sat in front of him and than every thing was calm except his and her heart beat. She untied her hairs they both ordered tea with 2 table spoons of milk, 1 tea spoon of sugar, brown sugar and stirred 12 times, motion of the spoon was same as usual and their conversations without words as usual. Only thing they could hear was their heart beats.

“We’ll be entering in New Year in just 30 seconds” a voice came from somewhere. He stared at her and she nodded briefly and than they were walking out of the café he had wrapped his hand around her waist while she tried to control her heart beat as she hugged herself. They exchanged a quick look, smiled, and looked towards sky. Only thing visible were pregnant clouds. They momentarily looked at each other and than their lips met, they heard cheers, laughter, crackers and saw stars coming out of those pregnant clouds to celebrate.

Birthday in USA!

2009-04-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

The most awaited day (for me) came. Yeah, my 17th Birthday!
My birthday celebrations started a week before and ended a week after my birthday.
I had a fun time with my host family and host friends. And yeah I did actually felt like a grown up on my birthday, wanna know why? I am telling, you don't have to wait, I "cooked" that day! OMG! I couldn't believe that "I" was cooking, wo bhi on my birthday (LoL). And see, here's the most amazing part, that all of it tasted really good. I was kinda shocked when I tasted "Kachorees" I made, my, my those were way yummy.
Have a look at them and yeah I am torturing especially of you're hungry (I'm kidding):

Aww! I miss them, they were so tasty! :( / :p
Than I made my Americans friend wear Pakistani outfits "Shalwar Kameez" And yeah, they looked outstanding, see:

I know they look quite mashrikee!
Ok here comes a funny part, my friends asked me to do henna for them ... yes, they asked a wrong person I don't like henna at all. They badly wanted to have henna on their hands so I did it, wanna have a look?:

*Laugh* That's "all" I can do with henna. After this they asked me to do some henna on my hand ("Ewwww" was my answer) but than it was birthday I wanted to keep on smiling and see others smiling (Main objective of my life) so have a look on what I did:

I didn't even had any lame clue for what to do with henna on my hand so I just wrote initial of my name :D.

Next day I went for bowling with my friends and that was heck lot of fun.

And than at night my host sister made a card for with my cake. Awww! I loved it *Hugs and kisses* for her. Here it is oh yeah the balloon too, which I badly wanted to have once we went to CVS but we were on a trip so I couldn't get it:

And at last but surely not at least enjoy viewing my birthday cake and just yo let you know it was yummmmmmy! ;)

Should abortion be abolished or not?

2009-04-01T17:14:00.000-07:00

As soon as our US History class ended debate over abortion was ended too but my mind is still stuck there. It made me wonder for the first time ever in my life that "Should abortion be abolished or not?" I never thought about that.

Let's see, cases of abortion usually appear (here in USA) when you have sex with your "boy friend" which is by the way quite common as I remember first day at high school made me speak to my self "Am I in a maternity hospital?".

So where were we ... yeah, so the immature couple would make out for fun and than would like to have an abortion, well in this case , it doesn't makes much sense to me I mean how in the world they have any right to kill a living thing, I would consider that zygote as a living thing. But than again, it's better to have abortion at that time rather than giving birth to a baby who wouldn't even know who his/her father is, like a girl in my piano class, neither she knows who her father is nor does her mother remembers that.

But than what about the girls who get rapped? I mean why they should be always the one to suffer? Why always girls?

You know what this made me wonder, is there any way men could get pregnant and suffer from all that pain, because that would make them think before doing such non-human acts. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I shouldn't think against law of nature but literally even if one of them gets to suffer with all those pains, it would make difference and than also ..... ah ......better leave this!

So yeah girls who get rapped shouldn't be responsible for raising an unwanted child, should they get abortion in that case?

I don't even have any lame clue for the conclusion as I never pondered over these kinds of things, and even now I have a question mark in my mind and my question is still a question!

Because my love I trust you a lot ...

2009-03-20T06:53:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered, why I pay attention to your words?
Ever thought, why I value your opinions too much?
Ever considered, why I respect your ideas above all?
It's because my love I trust you a lot.

Have you ever pondered over the times?
When I shed my tears on your shoulders.
When I wrap my self in your chest.
It's because my love I trust you a lot.

Did you ever looked in my eyes?
When they are full of cries
When all I want is to be with you
It's because my love I trust you.

Mystifying moon and you!

2009-03-16T18:34:00.000-07:00

She sat around that mystifying pond, watching the reflection of an arresting crescent moon on an enchanted sky of pinkish color with a single star near it. After a long hectic day, she closed her burning eyes pushed her chest against her legs and buried her self in some memories to which she can’t separate from herself, even if she tries. She exactly remember these words as they reverberate like forever in her mind whenever she see any enthralling sight “The most beautiful view is the one I share with you”, he would say with an unusual smile in his eyes, these words would not only bring smile on her face but in her heart too. And today while sitting here all alone a tear slide through her eyes on her rosy cheek and dropped in her hands complaining that there is already someone else in her eyes that the tear was unable to attain any place. She looked directly to the moon stretched her self backwards, inhaled the smell of flowers near by and imagined being with him. Hand in hand, sitting beside each other, with the most comfortable silence and with a smile not only on their face but in their hearts too. She remembers the night at farm house when they both were sitting with their backs attached against each other around a born fire reading “Love story” and how can she forget the night when they were out on long walk for long talk and it started to rain on their way back home and they had “gol gappey”, and also her birthday night when they both danced in rain, needless to mention about the cold they caught that night which they soothed, eating dry fruits near fire place. Ah! These memories brought shiver to her spine and now tears were streaming down her eyes which never soothed her, never relieved her, as, they were committed to his memories, and she knew he would hate tears in her eyes because he once said while clearing hairs from her face and than getting gentle hold of her face with his both hands “When I look in your eyes, I find reason to live”, she clutched grass, threw it away and screamed “I’m so going to cry now, I’ll cry 24/7, because … because … it doesn’t (now her voice was stammering) doesn’t matters any more … not to me … because YOU aren’t here any more!”

"This life wasn't meant for us to be together", was her last thought.

Invisible children

2009-03-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

What would you call those children who are never even counted at their births? Who are denied by their own armies? And to those whose fears and pains are never heard? To those cant smile or even cry from their will? INVISIBLE? Right? Yeah that’s the word they use for them!

I was “shocked”, as in like really “shocked” when I watched the documentary about “kids” in Uganda who are abducted to join Joseph Konny’s (An exceptional example of a true devil) rebellion army. Where they are handed arms and ammunitions when they are supposed to have books and toys in there hands. To make them strong he kills their siblings in front of them and to make them brave he orders them not to cry, or else he would kill them too and the number of kids he is abducting is increasing rapidly. [Oh my God! It’s making me sick!]

“I want to die … see no more future … future killing people … like my brother and every body else … no tomorrow no afraid of Joseph” Said a kid who successfully escaped from Konny’s army but doesn’t wants to mention his name while he was telling about Konny as he was scared from Konny’s eyes which turn red whenever he is angry. You would be amazed to know that Konny has no political, personal, religious or social demands, he doesn’t even wants any money, all he wants is abduction of kids and astonishingly Konny’s 90% of the army is of kids.

Please do pray for those kids and tell others to do the same.

Awww! =)

2009-03-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

"Tum aik khuli kitaab ho,
Tmharaa dil shafaaf hai,
Bas koi is dil ko ,
Dil se samajhney wala chahiye!"

Awwwwwww!
Awwwww!
Aww!
Oh, my my my! This is like the best compliment I've ever received.
I value it a whole lot.
Thanks my well wisher.
It's cute! :)

12th Rabial Awal

2009-03-09T16:26:00.000-07:00

I knew I would be sad and I knew I’ll cry today. Why shouldn’t have I? It’s 12^th "Rabial Awal" and I’m not at my home and it totally makes sense for me to feel miserable.

I miss Mamma’s lecture to get dressed, wear bangles (which I hate to wear), and putting on Henna (Ewww!) and her most famous dialogue which she would say every year “Beta, sab loog ayein gey, aj tu thora sa tayar ho jao” and yeah I do remember my line too “Arey mamma yaar sab log milaad mai arahey hain mjh se shaadi karney nai”

And our conversation would end with Mamma’s last line while her eyebrows would go high “Iska pata nai kia hoga?”

Aww! I miss every thing now, I so want to dress now, it’s definitely still a “NO” for bangles and Henna though.

I’m missing every thing today, even Tuba’s call when she would call me a week before and would ask me "Kiya tayaree kee Maham?" and I would say "Pehley ye btao kitney siparey parhey, baad mai kaproo pe ana?" and we both would burst in laughter. And how can I ever forget Aiman (my sister) making complains to Mamma about my plans with cousins to go and have a soda party after Milaad, but the funny thing is that, Mamma would reply her back with slight sarcasm in her tone "Maham ko kisi ne rooka hai aj tak?" *Tears* I miss you all!
I badly want to be there! That's the day besides my birthday for which I wait whole year long. Ahh! I'll miss all those satisfying smiles which I'll get when I would ask people "Kisi ko panee peena hai?" and "Aunty app khana kha lain, (child's name) isko mai handle karletee hun!".

What about my statement "Mainey sab se ziadaa siparey parhey hain?" who would say that to Daddy for getting extra pocket money? (Believe me I never read siparaa's for money, it's eternity for my mind and soul, but I think it was funny to say).
*Sniff sniff* And the saddest part now this year my family is organizing Milaad in a hall, because of the number of people which is increasing rapidly ever year. Alas! I'll miss that too.

I'm glad that I brought Quran here or else I bet I would've died. Saachi mai!
I hope they all would have a good time and I hope they'll miss me! LOL (Kidding) ;)

Cute

2009-03-06T07:33:00.000-08:00

Needless to mention that I'm obsessed with Red color and also with the word cute, you know what I'm thinking, that next I should make a list of things I'm obsessed with. LOL!
Any ways! I saw this 'cute' piece when I was in New York City and we were coming back from a halal restaurant. It’s so cute I wonder who made it and why.*Smile*

Fun In Snow.

2009-03-02T09:05:00.000-08:00

After "long", I mean like really "long" talks on cell with my friends, I finally had to go to bed. But I didn't packed my bag, neither I found my Lacrosse stick nor did I packed my sports suit. I'd decided that I'll do that in morning. Knowing the fact about how indolent I get in morning.

As usual I woke up at 6 and as usual laid down on bed smiling in mind for 1 more hour I've for more sleep. Anna banged on my door before alarm banged my head, with a really good news "Maham, it's snowing outside and there is no school today!". And on the next second Maham Khan was jumping all around with excitement while peeking out of the window. And yes, that was JUST the beginning of an exciting day. I slept some more (best part) and than we went for sledding (Sledding is the thing which I always wanted to do as a kid, when I watched Home Alone), but never got any chance back in Paku. I wore my snow pants, hat and gloves (I'm mentioning it, as, I hate to wear warm clothes). And we headed for sledding. Gosh, it was heck lot of fun. Shariq thinks that "ye bachoon ka sport hai" but I think "baroon ki tarhan karoo tu maza ata hai!". Cause I had a wonderful time and enjoyed alot. After that I helped my Mom in shovelling of snow, we made a cute snowman (yeah, that's the word I use most, for me every thing which I like is "cute"). Than, we went to library and on our way back home we headed towards Mud House, which is my most favorite place for hot chocolate and here I'm writing on my blog and waiting for the fun ahead. I just decided to watch a movie "Sixth Sense".
Off the hill. :)

I told you, I don't like to wear warm clothes.

I know, I forgot to mention about the Snow Angel we made.

Shoveling snow.

=) * Anna * =)

2009-02-25T07:02:00.000-08:00

What’s happening with me? There was a time when I wondered how will I live without my family? And the thing which really surprised me today, was when I questioned my self, that how will I live without my host family now? I mean the relationship of affection is increasing day by day and I feel contented to mention that it’s symbiotic. Yesterday after dinner all I wanted was to take some rest after hectic practice of Lacrosse and so I cleared up the table and headed towards my room, on my way to my room my host mom came to me and told me that Anna (my host sister) was supposed to write a note about any person in her school, and she wrote about “ME”! I was way excited not to read but to appreciate her consideration for me. I went to her room and asked her about her day and asked her to give me that note and than she was like “Yeah mom couldn’t resist without telling, I wanted to give, but please don’t read it aloud (She said while blushing, with a tiny smile)”. I was shocked, amazed, enthralled, delighted and what not? After reading that note, and my eyes were filled with tears (Yeah, I’m kind of an emotional person, especially when such unexpected things happen).

*Hugs and Kisses for Anna* <3!

Here is the note which she wrote about me and yeah I must say that she knows me real well.

I got what I wanted!

2009-02-18T18:24:00.000-08:00

That's it, that's all what I wanted, just a call from you, I was just dying to hear that "I MISS YOU" and see now I'm all yours.
Doesn't it feels great when you get what you expected? I feel so contented and to me it seems like that ultimately the whole world is smiling with me.
And Yes I'm feeling great and truthfully I'm actually out of words to describe my feelings!
But atlast, atleast now you need to admit that a lady can get whatever and however she wants ;).

When dreams come true

2009-02-16T20:49:00.001-08:00

I just don’t know how to describe my feelings today, I feel so blessed and also ashamed.
Blessed; in the way that Allah is gifting me all of his gifts at this age and ashamed; in the way that I’m unable to offer prayers and at least thank him. He just made my dreams come true, I always wished to travel in ferry and see statue of liberty and yes I did that today. It was a great day I loved it, warm, bright sunny day comforting with smooth breeze every thing looked amazing, like I used to see in movies but today I was able to experience and yes that was amazing. I loved when the wind played with my hairs as I was viewing Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge and all other humongous buildings, with large crowds and that's what I love, being a part of large crowd which I experienced when I was at Times Square, Empire state building, Rock fellow Building, Central Park and some other places in New York City.
Besides sight seeing I went to visit my host aunt and rode on her horses and amazingly she taught me some tricks for controlling horses and yes I did a fine job with that.
I also visited some botanical gardens as I love nature specially flowers, after that we went to an Indian Restaurant, which provided halal food, and I would love to mention what we ate there; Seekh Kebabs, chicken Tikka Masala, Karahee, Biryani, lassi (That was yummy), Ras malai and yeah Parathas too. As we came out after having a yummy dinner it started to snow, which was beautiful.
After that we watched a 3-D Movie "The journey to the centre of earth", I'd a good time there.
Luckily on Friday I got a chance to visit mosque and so I could offer my prayers and this was like the best moment so far, when I heard the words of "Azaan", I was mesmerized at that time and eventually tears started to drop of my eyes, I don't know why.
Overall my trip was amazing and I loved every moment of it.
And here are some clips of my trip:

Inside Rock fellow Building, I loved it.

New york Botanical Garden

Near Connecticut

Statue of Liberty

Times Square

I'm hurt, I really am.

2009-02-12T20:20:00.000-08:00

I remember I was stretching in morning when I heard my host mom’s voice “Maham I’ll pick you up at six after your conditioning and than we’ll go for the Luncheon directly from school”. After listening that I was like “How in the world could I forget this Luncheon? For which I boosted a whole lot when I was talking with my family back in Pakistan”.
I hurried towards my closet grabbed my clothes now keeping in my mind about Luncheon. It was a warm, bright, sunny day, totally unexpected as it had snowed couple of days before.I was in full swing with the usual smile on my face. In my Piano class, I got a letter from NHS that they wanted me to join it, which made me way happy. In my History class I got a notice from Mr. Mace (Teacher who teaches AP US History), he had selected me to join the panel discussion regarding some hot issues which would be at PAC, yes it did made my day even more better, I was feeling lucky and blessed. my school day ended with my Lacrosse conditioning in which I made 5 goals, yes, yes, yes I was proud on my self that I did, what I’ve never done and amazingly I was getting better even at sports.
My host mom was waiting for me with a smile on her face, glad to see me playing with others. After that I changed really quickly, as I didn’t wanted to get late for Luncheon. I reached to the Luncheon agitated. “And you’re Maham Khan!” were the first words I heard there. I sat quietly, but every one knows I’m a chatter box, I found one my friend there, as this ceremony had the top most students from the whole county in all sections of academic I was lucky enough to get certificate of appreciation from both of my Marketing classes and Math’s too, rest of the ceremony went extraordinarily fine.
From now on murky part starts, I forgot my camera, someone spilt coke on my kurti.
And wait there is something more. I reached home contented my host family was delighted, and I turned on computer to check my mails and I found was “Hye Maham, Let me remind you that I was the one who sent you first friend request but you never accepted it”. I was like who is he and than after forcing a little bit on my mind I knew that it was the person from YES-7. I said sorry and explained that I never entertain any strangers on internet and so I don’t accept any friend requests from strangers, I apologized and said that now I now you and know we could be friends now, and I sent him friend request, and to my utter most surprise what I got as a reply was “First I sent you a friend request and you didn’t accepted it and now I’m rejecting it, and let me tell you I have lots of “Maham’s” around me”, after reading this for a moment I was alienated from this world about what just happened, I couldn’t believe some one could be so rude with me, I mean I clarified him twice (once when he sent his friend request and second when he replied me back)that I just don't talk with strangers on internet, I don't believe in net friendships. But still,
I have no clue what and why is it happening with me, I know this person has no link with me at all but still I feel like may be I hurt him. Did I? Didn’t he hurt me more? If you think with a cool mind what I did was quite obvious as I don’t trust net friendships.
I am really disturbed after all this, and I so wonder why, as that person have no link with me at all in any way. Than why do I feel like this? Was it my fault? But than I did apologize on which he replied in a real absurd way. And believe me I have no clue why in the world I’m writing all this may be because writing makes me feel better.

Explore, Dream, Discover

2009-02-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

My Dad!

2009-02-05T07:26:00.000-08:00

While I was cleaning my father’s closet I found a boy of approximately half of my father’s age holding a bat, surrounded by people who all were looking cheerful and at the back of photo a statement was written “celebrating success with family”.
I hurried towards my father and asked him that, who the person was? And what were people doing around him?
He took the photo from my hand and said while smiling to himself that “this photo was taken when your uncle came back to Pakistan and he arranged a cricket match for the whole family. And my team won this match, and you can consider me as man of the match as I made highest score”.
On listening this I asked curiously “so you people used to have family matches as well ……… and now no one arranges for us”!
He explained me that they were six brothers and so they all had interest in sports and during his time children and teens used to have hobbies of sports because no such machines like computer, mp3 devices were available.
On asking that how he started and where did he received his training. He said “At my school I was never encouraged to participate on sports as my seniors never gave us the chance and so I made a team at my neighborhood in order to play.
One fine day I was getting ready in order to prepare my self for school as it was sports day organized by our management.
When I reached there, the situation was not at ease. On inquiring I discovered that a player was missing and no one was ready as a substitute. Since the coach knew my willingness for participation he added my name in the list of players, on one hand I was glad for taking part but on the other hand I was bit nervous for taking part with my school team. As it was for the first time I was playing with my school fellows. The match started and I was in the field with other players wearing the sport dress, getting amused by the laughter and cheers of the audience who were singing motivational songs for us. We all started to play the game and I made 3 fine goals and at that time I was feeling as if I am running on 7th sky. And I was given special trophy for that score as well. From that day I became a part of my school sports team”.
I asked him about the sports he used to take part in. He responded me while scratching his head “Mostly foot ball, cricket, and hockey, latto and gulli danda”. He further added “In all football was my most favorite game as my cousins and brothers knew this sport very well and I always found it interesting to play with my fellow beings”.
“Cricket too was my favorite and I had a signature bat of Garfield sober which was given to me on annual sports day on my exceptionally nice performance. Asif Iqbal, Zaheer Abbas, Latif Iqbal, Intikhab Alam and Little Master Hanif Mohammad were my most favorite players”.
I asked him when, how and where he used to do his practice, who was his coach and how often he used to do practice on this question he said “After my first successful match at school I started playing at my school as well and except that I used to play with my neighborhood friends and with my brothers and cousins as well. I used to go Sunday to Sunday (every week) and my school coach used to guide me”.
After he completed his sentence we hear a call from my mother for dinner. At dinner table he told me that when family matches were arranged they used to have B.B.Q or they used to have one-dish parties by the end of match.
I requested him to tell me further about his past social and personal life. He answered me that they used to have pet animals and my dad was fond of dogs and pigeons he had Boxer, Bull dog, German shepherd, Artesian and he used to call every dog as “BUZ0“. He loved music and had vast collection of cassettes which he own today as well. He mostly listened to Latah, Rafee and Mukesh.
He didn’t continued sports after age of 20 and he never intended to become a professional player. He is DTO of Malir town now and as well as a horticulturist.

P.S: I don't remember when and why I wrote it, I found it in my e-mail, when I was clearing my mail box!

My friend my life ...!

2009-02-02T07:22:00.001-08:00

Dear MAHAM
I don't know how to express k mujhy tumhari mails
parh kar kitna aachaaaaa laga.literally "DIL GARDEN GARDEN" ho gya!.(haha "Hope you remember this statement" LOL!)
Thank you for your concerns dear,janti ho I never knew k mai tm pe itna depend kartee hun, I realized it after you left me all alone and now I really need a supporting hand magar har kisi mai tmharee wali baat nai hai naa! Yaad hai how you used to console me , encourage me "nahin Annie 'tumka' (I can NEVER forget your tmka, ab yehee mjhey cute lagta hai, I'm now dying to hear your cute, weird urdu ;)) NED main nahin hoga tu kis ka hoga?!" and do you remember when I called you at the last night of our 'Paku' (Your word Paku instead of Pakistan was famous in whole school, LOL!) paper and I was crying like mad "k kaisey hoga?" And then the way you consoled me was great! After reading your mails I don't know how 2 express my feelings as my eyes were filled with tears and a big smile sparkled on my face, and that was the moment when my heart told me that
"I AM FORTUNATE 2 HAVE A FRND LIKE U"
TRULY,I feel lucky k I made only 1 but worthwhile friend kehtey haina ke "ANMOOL CHEEZ KA KOI MOOL NAHIN HOTA" isi liyea tumhare bare mein kehna achaaaaa toa lagta but bohat kum lagta hai aur waisea bhi you know k main ne kabhi kisi se aaj tak itnee openly apni feelings ko express nahin kiya. Yeh baat nahin hai kea, they don't possess worth for me but shayad meree hee himat nahin hotee....ya shayad kabhi mainey chaha hi nahin. Tum se bhi shyad kabhi nahin karti but Itneeeee DoOoOoOrrrr "Yehi FEELINGS TO LINK BANI HOI HAIN". BUT literaly Maham tumhari bohat yaad arahi hai,Yara ye samajh nai ata k tm mai aisee kia baat thi jo I'm unable to make any friend, har kisi se baat kar k lagta hai k Maham wali baat kisi mai nai, tmhara wo hansna, jokes karna, pranks play karna, ladder pe chahrney ki race lagana, IED ki canteen se ja k chup k lunch lena and I don't know why I'm missing all of your mischievous acts to which I used to consider impractical, silly and stupid at a time. Yaar I MISS YOU A WHOLE LOT! "Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell...!"
FROM THE ONE WHO IS
MISSING you ALOTTTTT………
Annie! (Yaad hai school mai when you started calling me Annie so every one started me calling Annie, Yar I LOVE you so much)

With my teary eyes when I read this e-mail all I could say was
Awwww! I'm loving it!
Thanks yaar! And don't worry love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart!
So Cheers! And THANK YOU SO MUCH yara!
Awwwwwwwwwwww! <3!

He and She

2009-01-31T12:39:00.000-08:00

He saw. She hesitated. He stared. She blushed. He smiled. She smiled. He talked. She replied. He asked. She approved. He proposed. She accepted. He said I do. She said I do. He sang. She danced. He drove. She smiled. He gave flowers. She gave prayers. He went in. She followed. He touched. She hesitated. He kissed. She kissed. He slept. She slept. He worked. She cooked. He appreciated. She did dishes. He helped. She got job. He smiled. She worked. He worked. She cooked. He appreciated. She did dishes. He helped. She went for official dinner. He disbelieved. She cried. He stabbed. She explained. He was sorry. He worked. She worked. He blamed. She explained. He stabbed. She left. He ran. She ran. He screamed. She refused. She fell down. He ran. She was sick. He was sorry. She smiled. He smiled. She was pregnant. He valued. He smiled. She smiled. He cared. She appreciated. She went to see doctor. He accused. She cried. He stabbed. She explained. He stabbed. She cried. He screamed. She cried. He shrieked. She left. He ran. She was crushed by car. He ran. She fell. He was sorry. She smiled. He smiled. She died. He cried. She died. He screamed. She died. He was sorry. She died. He cried. She died.

Why to write a diary?

2009-01-25T18:41:00.000-08:00

A man's diary is a record in youth of his sentiments, in middle age of his actions, in old age of his reflections.

John Quincy Adams (1767-1848)

My answers to some questions

2009-01-23T21:36:00.000-08:00

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?
Bloody valentine
2. What book are you reading?
Please Understand Me
3. Favorite board game?
Lagratto
4. Favorite magazine?
Smash
5. Favorite smells?
Wet sand and in perfumes; white diamond, eternity, cool water, Hugo boss and blue lady.
6. Favorite sounds?
Guitar, piano and sound of giggles.
7. Worst feeling in the world?
Feeling when I wait for someone and when ever I am upset I HATE to be upset!
8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
I won’t take breakfast today.
9. Favorite fast food place?
In USA “mud house” and any place in fashion square in Pak, pizza hut.
10. Future child’s name?
Well! I haven’t decided but I think Aman is a good name, I’ll see.
11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?
“If I had lot of money I’d buy all the books I can.
12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Nah!
13. Storms - cool or scary?
Cool! Especially if you are out with some one and after storm you have “gol gappey”!
14. Favorite drink?
Coke and hot chocolate.
15. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
If I had the time I would spend my whole time with meeran.
16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
No!
17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
Red! LoL! I hate dying hairs!
18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in or visited?
Karachi, Chancellorsville, Dallas, New York, Orlando, Williams Burg, Chesapeake, Washington Dc, New Jersey, Richmond, Georgia, London, Abu-Dhabi, Islamabad, Houston and West Virginia (I’ll keep on updating it LOL).
19. Favorite sports to watch?
Lacrosse, Wrestling, basket ball and soccer.
20. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
Hmm! He is my friend!
21. What’s under your bed?
Books and wrappers of chocolates and cans of dew.
22. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Muslim.
23. Morning person or night owl?
It depends.
24. over easy or sunny side up?
Sunny side up.
25. Favorite place to relax?
Spa (hot).
26. Favorite pie?
I hate pies and sweet things.

The happiness I feel at your achievements

2009-01-23T19:50:00.000-08:00

The happiness I feel at your achievements
Reflects the happiness you feel at mine.
Friends expand the pleasures of such moments,
As mine in yours, and yours in mine, combine.
The same when we look forward to our futures:
So much more unfolds when there are two!
Populating your proposed adventures
Gives me a joy that mine must give to you.
We've been through much, and will be through much more,
But traveling together is more fun.
Whatever life and love may have in store,
Two is always preferable to one.
Your graduation thus becomes my pleasure:
Your happiness is mine, a double treasure
PS: Some one mailed me this poem and I think its really nice! =) I loved it.

Diversity

2009-01-23T19:43:00.000-08:00

Why violence is increasing?
Why peace is decreasing?
Why terrorism is spreading?
Why the pillar of strength is bending?
Why these things are disturbing our society?
And, also there is no sign of humanity
And no one with a bit of sympathy
Just because of lack of diversity
As every one is playing a dishonest role
While eating roll,
playing ball or
giving a torrent call
Now its time for us to raise our voice
And tell every one our one choice
If some one ignores we will tell him twice
There must be DIVERESITY!!
Which gives us message of strength
Which must never ever end
It tells us about unity
Which must be our first priority
For that there must be diversity
To live a happy healthy & prosperous life !!

Best Friend

2009-01-23T19:38:00.000-08:00

Life has really been fortunate for me in the case of friend ship. Since I found a friend like I wanted when I was in class 1. Her name is Quratulain; we both are friends since 9 years. As it is a long time that we have spent together, so there is mutual understanding among us. We both respect each other’s opinion and ideas and help each other if any one of us is stuck into any hinder. She helps me in studies and I help her whenever she require my guidance in using computer or digital tools, like last month she got a digital camera and I facilitated her to use that.Although we both have different interests; like, I always keep a balance among my studies and co-curricular but she doesn’t like participate in any sort of non-academic activities. I love to go for pleasure reading where as she doesn’t, but when I give her reflection on the books which I read than she too read those books. She is a true friend of mine and always gives me sincere advices. She cares a lot about me. When I entered in class ninth so being indulge in studies and activities she noticed that I am not paying heed towards my diet, so she called at my home and made a genuine complain to my mom. We both celebrate many occasions together like of Eid, New Year, Birthdays etc, by giving gifts and treat to each other. Quratulain is a perfect friend of mine and I wish that every one should have a tremendous friend like I have. May God forbid and bless my friend!

My Family

2009-01-23T19:33:00.000-08:00

I belong to a noble family which is well-known in our community because of their pious approach and helpful nature. We are six family members. My father is a determined, humble, polite and a hard working person with excellent leading qualities. He shares his ideas, past experiences including mischievous acts and provides us guidance. He has a liberal approach and he always appreciates me to tackle my problems by my own.My mother is a house lady. She is very strict and does not tolerate our mistakes. She is very conscious about our studies and always wants to see us at the top. She wants us to lead our lives in frame of her designed rules.My elder brother has a friendly nature. H e is very good friend of mine. We share our thoughts, our experiences and do harmless mischievous acts together. I love and respect him a lot. My sister posses a stubborn nature, I have a smooth relationship with her but we often quarrel with each other especially when she does not put my things back on their right places after using them.My younger brother is five years old. He is very sweet and loving; I usually bring sweets and chocolates for him.Since my childhood I’ve observed a symbiotic relation ship among my parents. They both respect and love each other and share their happiness with other members of the society while giving charity, zakat and fitrah to those who are in need of this.We celebrate occasion of happiness including Eid, New Year, Birthdays, Wedding anniversary of our parents, while giving presents. On the day of celebration we all gather at my grandfather’s house where all kids kiss the hands of grand parents and bow their heads down for getting blessings and than every one pray together for the prosperity of our family.

Last time I saw my mother was 15 years ago…

2009-01-21T13:38:00.000-08:00

“Your work speaks for the time and devotion you provide it, it’s definitely marvelous!” said another admirer of my art work.
I have every thing in my life, name, fame, money, success; in the eyes of world I live a really luxurious and comfortable life, but what all the people are unable to see is behind this successful man there is a an unsuccessful man, behind this strong man there is a wretched person, who has all the lavishness of life except comfort.
“You’ll regret for what you’re doing right now, but I still wish that may you live merrily where ever you go”, these words haunt in my mind like forever and that’s the reason behind wrinkles of my face, its not my age which caused it its my regret and my worry which made every layer of my skin bent with regret, shame and humiliation. I exactly remember last time I saw my mother was 15 years ago, standing on a wooden stair case, running with her weak legs after me, trying to stop me from leaving home due to misunderstanding between me and my father, “Hold on my dear, he is your dad, control your anger” repeated my mother like for 1000 times, but I guess that was an unfortunate moment for me and so I left my mom and dad at the age when they needed me most, when it was time for me to pay for all the nights my mom was awake for me, for all the days my dad worked over time to buy the new sports car I badly wanted, but alas!, I failed.
I regret the time when I raised my voice against my dad (when it actually was my fault); I wish I should have accepted my mistake so that no conflicts would have ever begun and our perfect family tree would have remained perfect. I never realized the mistake I was making while leaving my home, I realized it when I received a call from my neighbor informing me that my parents died in a bus accident. I traveled back to my home and found those last words of my mom reverberating, and a diary written by my dad from the day I left their home to the day before their accident, every single word of that diary was regarding how much he missed me and how my mom was heartrending and depressed after I left. My entire fault! Because I never replied any of their e-mail, letter or phone call, pathetic! I wonder why I fell in the glamor of my success and how in the world I never had any time to apprehend that it’s the prayers of my parents enabling me to reach so high. Amazingly “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins, and that’s what happened with me.

Weird things about me!

2009-01-21T13:32:00.000-08:00

1. I don’t like sweet things including halwas, kheer, puddings, sheer khormas and any kind of pie.
2. I cannot sleep until I start rolling my hairs with my fingers.
3. I cannot stand girlish girls. And I mean it.
4. I love messy room, but can’t have one. As I always keep my things in order.
5. I knew some all those vocabulary words, when I was in class 6th with whom even my teachers were unfamiliar with.
6. I love to watch wrestling. (Please stop rolling your eyes; I have already faced strange glares of my friends, parents and aunts.)
7. I wish I was born 1000 years ago, which would have enabled me to invent some thing.
8. I cannot sleep and read in car.
9. My hairs have to be down, while I am writing any thing.
10. I “hate” when people ask me “Do you smile when you’re sleeping? As I have never seen your face without a smile!” (Urgh!)

From Pak to USA!

2009-01-16T18:46:00.000-08:00

Well that was the most emotional moment for me when I had to leave Washington dc after having so much fun with my fine mates. At Washington dc we all stayed at American university and those days were like same I used to read in novels!
But when it was time for all of us to leave for our states (where we are placed actually)
That was deplorable we could not help our selves without crying.
I am placed at Charlottesville, Virginia, so I was suppose to catch a flight and I had two connecting flights to reach out there and that was terrible that made me tired!
But when I reached to Charlottesville airport I saw a board on which it was written “salaam Maham” and there I found my host family. They greeted me hugged me and took me towards car, I was really nervous but they were too glad to have me there. They talked with me on the way to our home. As soon as I entered home they took me upstairs to show my room and I was amazed to see that every thing was in red color that just looked wow! My bed sheet, pens and yeah they made a frame of my pics as well, even my washroom mats were red, and my table napkin was red too and it was all just red is my favorite color!
After that we had dinner and I went to sleep on a cozy bed!
Next day they took me for a walk to down town where I had a hot chocolate. Other day we went for a trolley ride and yeah I made paratha and a Pakistani dish for them, same day they took me for taking halal meet, and other necessary items and when I asked that how much I need to pay they denied, and they paid for it!
They are really nice people!!!
Yesterday they took me to my school, in order to get me registered and to select my subjects and my mom and sister showed me my classes as well. I will be studying at Charlottesville High School.
Today they took me for hiking and I was on top of my city!
And now after dinner we will go for a concert!
I must admit that Americans are really very active, they go to bed early and wake up early!
And on Friday they will take me to a masjid for a khutba though they are Christians.
They really take good care of me more than I do; they already arranged my stationary items and books, writing pads and all requirements.
And in return I follow all the rules I spent less time on computer and talk a lot with them I help them in kitchen I ask dad about his work as he is a doctor!
My sister is really nice she is in seventh grade and we talk about different books and she has got a nice collection of books and she let me read those as well!

It is really a fun learning here though my school is going to start on 20th!

I must say that …… say YES to YES!!

LOL! I have NO clue, what in the world made me write any thing like this? LOL

2009-01-16T18:43:00.001-08:00

Samsung and Delilah

“Hye Delilah don’t you think I need a hair cut?” Said Samsung. Whose hairs were growing so long. “Why?” Inquired Delilah. “I think people are mistaking me as a girl, because of my hairs”. “Hmm! Okay I’ll do it for you, what ever you wish my love!” Said Delilah.
“What in the world you did with your hairs Samsung? Do you know what you are upon?” Questioned Samsung’s dad. “Dad I needed a haircut, you never let me cut my hairs since my childhood and now people mistake me as a girl so I badly needed a haircut. And that’s so nice of Delilah to do it for me. And besides that I feel terribly hot in summer, I can’t handle them”. Samsung’s dad gave him a strange look and than there was complete silence in room. Samsung and Delilah were afraid, as they were aware of Samsung’s dad’s cruelty, they were expecting a fierce behavior, as his dad was a man for whom traditions mattered a whole lot, and no one ever had hair cut in his family ever ……. Samsung was pondering over these thoughts, but soon his dad broke the silence in his cold voice, “Son! You broke the rule of our family” ……… (And than it was dead silence in room, no one spoke, except his dad)
“But you know what, I agree with you and in this case even I would like to have a hair cut”.
And since than the custom of the family changed and men were now allowed to have a haircut.

"I am"

2009-01-16T18:41:00.000-08:00

I am a girl with whom world dances
Mirthing in her own way
Bright as a sun ray
who believe.
It’s fun to be naughty!
And glad to have a great family
This helps her to live merrily
I’m a girl who will catch all of your fears
And will surely remove all of your tears
I am moon for those lost at night
And sun for a readily smile
Because I believe
A smile confuses an approaching frown
I don’t like faces full of moan
Simply I am chilled and chilly
As sweet as honey!

"Where ever I go … "

2009-01-16T18:38:00.000-08:00

I carry my thoughts where ever I go
(I take them with myself) I feel hollow
Without you (I am incomplete without
You) you begin my day and you end it
(You are like sun and moon to me) you are
Always in my mind (My mind is always
Filled with your memories) so, come on dear
(Come back to me) fill the empty space in me
(Come and fill my sorrows with your festive)
I cannot live without you even if I try, (I am
Unable to live without you) I carry your thoughts
Wherever I go (I am unable to
Survive without you and your memories
Wander wherever I go).

"When you come around here"

2009-01-16T18:36:00.000-08:00

When you come around here
Waving flowers and a wilt
You’ll find me standing on the stairs
Where you left me
All alone, only with your memories
Where you and I are;
As always busy in talking,
Discussing the height of care
While having some chips to share
Talking on the looks of Avril
Where you win and I lose
I remember the way we used to
Search for the meaning of friendship
And than my reply would be
It is something that comes from inside
And only thing which you can’t hide
You would agree and add
That it is a relationship of;
Security, trust, warmth and comfort
And than we both would smile
Deciding to walk a mile,
But that day you walked alone
Leaving me on stairs
So, when you come around here
Waving flowers and a wilt
You’ll find me standing on the stairs
Waiting for you and only you

Haiku

2009-01-16T18:35:00.000-08:00

Every thing changes!

The changing color of leaves,
Reminds me that nothing is permanent in,
This world, every thing amends.

Daily Scadual

2009-01-16T18:34:00.000-08:00

The harsh tone of alarm
Makes me feel
My mom is screaming
To wake up and go for a walk
Where we both could talk
The pouring sound of milk
Which I have to drink
Makes me feel sick
The sound of bus horn
Relieves all of my mourn
As it is time for school
Where I can rock n roll
Every single sound of my mates
Sound melodic to me
As, Chatter in school bus
Makes me feel cheerful
Because I know now I can
Spend time with my friends
And have fun all day
The lunch time bell
Sounds like an opportunity
To join friend’s community
The laughter and chatter in lunch
Gives me happiness like a bunch
But when bell of last period rang
Makes me feel I should drink tang
Mom’s voice as soon as I enter in home
Made me write this poem

I don't know where I am lost .......!

2009-01-16T18:32:00.000-08:00

I don’t know where I am lost…!

As soon as chilled wind started to slap my face
It’s two at night in Charlottesville
I am still sitting by the window lost in darkness of night or actually lost in your thoughts.
I am burning in your memories.
My mouth has a craving feeling.
Today is moon night
Those memories just hit my spine,
Making my days helpless and nights restless!
All day long I think about you
All night I dream about you.
In my last dream I saw you
Wearing a red t-shirt
Which I gave you
Before coming to USA
I was so happy to get scholarship
But so gloomy to leave you.
Last day you made me speechless
When you said “why do you want to leave me?”
I still wonder why you waited
Till farewell to stop me from going?
Why? I doubt why?
Since that day my life is like tasteless pizza.
Without you I have forgotten how to smile?
How to live?
All I could do is just sail on boat of sadness
Flowing in your memories.

Miss You Dear!

2009-01-16T18:30:00.001-08:00

“Couplets”

Oh my dear! Where are you?
Don’t you know I am lost without you?

Colors of my life went away with you
Which makes me realize, every time, I miss you

My days are helpless
& my nights are restless

All day I think about you
All night I dream about you

I remember all the days we spent together
Ah! Those were a bundle of happiness & laughter

My dear! Come back to me
Return happiness back to me

I desperately need you,
I cannot live without you

Come back my dear, come back to me
So that we both could live merrily

As we always did
Let’s prove to all those people

Who always said “they both are made for made other”
And we would reply “yes we are friends for ever!”

So come back my dear, come back to me
So that we both could live merrily

Miss You Dear!

2009-01-16T18:30:00.000-08:00

LOL ! but true though !

2009-01-16T06:58:00.000-08:00

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. ~Edgar W. Howe

True Love

2009-01-16T06:57:00.000-08:00

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantière

Difference

2009-01-16T06:56:00.000-08:00

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. ~Bill Vaughan

A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties. ~Harry Truman

Pessimism

2009-01-16T06:54:00.000-08:00

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.~George F. Will, The Leveling Wind

Love

2009-01-15T18:55:00.000-08:00

M says:
so can i be that special one for u

WHOA! never expected this could happen with me in my life!
I mean I have a weird feeling with my self it has happened with me couple of time before as well, but seriously I NEVER had the feelings I am having these days. These unspoken words keep on echoing in my mind. I have no clue for what to do?. I always liked, actually loved M but never thought that he would just say it one day!. I was not EXPECTING it. Though I never admitted it ever, my friends would think that way but I was way too egoistic to admit the fact. Well lets see what I'll do this time!. And believe me I have NO clue.

Love is in the air ...... !

2009-01-15T18:26:00.000-08:00

*Niat-e-Shoq Bhar na Jaye Kahin
To Bhi Dil Se Utar NA JAye Kahin
Aarzoo yahi hai K tu Yahan Aaye
Or Omer Bhar NA Jaye Kahin*

Urs Forever
"______ "

I LOVED it, from core of my heart!
Who says love happens only once I believe "As many times I see you I keep on falling in love"

Lacrosse! 'sore'

2009-01-15T17:58:00.000-08:00

Living just for one year in America forces me to experience whatever I can. As soon as I heard about Lacrosse in CHS news live, I decided lets see what this sport is about. As I'd never even heard about this sport. The other day I heard that "All students interested in playing Lacrosse should come for conditioning today, after school", after hearing this I was like "ye amreeki bhi na!" , and the reason was I didn't knew what 'conditioning' means.
And than as usual Maham Khan, an ultimate Challenger was once again ready to accept the challenge. I am definite that you would be wondering that, what in the world the challenge would be? participation in sports seems fun, and no one forces any one to participate in sports?. Well you're quite wrong than, because living after 5 months in USA made me gained TONS of weight and I am playing Lacrosse NOT because I am a sport person, just because so that I may be able to reduce some weight. I knew that it would be quite tough, but I never knew it would be 'that much' tough. Running 1 mile in just 9 minutes. Darn! it is hard!. And than doing 50 push-ups without a break was fun, because I am used to of it. My yoga skills worked here. Lol!
Conditioning was fun though, and I assumed all the great things great people used yo say "Never give up, until you succeed" and all those creepy kinds of quotes BUT as soon as I sat in my car. Gosh! Darn! every single part of my body was totally against me. I mean I was so 'SORE', even sitting in warm bath tub didn't helped me at all, and I couldn't even change the position during sleeping. That was heck lot of tiring. But you have to lose some things in order to achieve something. So I hope I'll soon lose some weight and also I'll be good at Lacrosse.

American High school

2009-01-14T12:44:00.000-08:00

I never thought that studying in an American High school would be 'so' different. Students here are honest and they love to hang out with each other but as a matter of fact they are attached with each other just physically not mentally or emotionally, and that is a HUGE difference. I never knew that teachers could be way too lenient! And thats defeniltely NOT a good thing. Schools here provide needs, wants and luxuries just to make students LEARN something. Easiness in thier life reminds me of all the strugle students have to do in Pakistan. (I never thought about it before.)
I hope and believe situation of our my country gets better!
InshAllah!

I don’t know where I am lost…!

2008-12-23T15:51:00.000-08:00

As soon as chilled wind started to slap my face I realized that it’s two at night in Charlottesville and I am still sitting by the window lost in darkness of night or actually lost in your thoughts. It’s really cold outside but I am burning in your memories. My mouth has a craving feeling. May be I need to go for bed.
While lying on bed my wandering mind wonders as usual about you and only about you. Since it is 12th night of moon and so today is moon night and I badly want to be with you. Like we always used to do. Ah! Those memories just hit my spine, making my days helpless and nights restless! All day long I think about you and all night I dream about you. I remember in my last dream I saw you wearing a red t-shirt which I gave you before coming to USA when on farewell I was so happy to get scholarship but so gloomy to leave you.
That whole year you didn’t said me anything, whenever I used to ask you about your opinion for going to USA you were never so serious which made me feel I am not so important to you but last day you made me speechless when you said “why do you want to leave me?” I was shocked and that was first time I felt I should back off with the program but alas! I could not do any thing now. But I still wonder why you waited till farewell to stop me from going? Why? I doubt why? If you would have said it before I might would have never even imagined of it.

But you took so long my dear and I had to leave. And since that day my life is like tasteless pizza.

Without you I have forgotten how to smile? How to live? All I could do is just sail on boat of sadness flowing in your memories.

Is it same with you dear?

Can’t wait to hear from you!
Love
Maham khan

Change In My World

2008-12-23T15:38:00.000-08:00

“Change in my world”

“…. To tell you the truth I really MISS you!” What? Is it true? Or another illusion of my mind, or the usual exasperation I have.

After reading it for 19 times I still cannot believe that any one really missed me! An eccentric feeling is continuously following me after reading that statement, a new sentiment has arouse in my body, I can feel my blood getting warm, and my skin turning pink, the drought in my eyes is now filled with enough water to smoothen the dry land of my face and my lips are having an unusual curve. I can see flowers smiling towards me, hear birds singing for me, feel wind playing with me, and grass tickling me. Every thing seems beautiful, even the dried flowers and leaves in my diary, which every time remind me of all the time we spent together while, counting stars, hitting waves and pushing wind, sitting around bonfire singing songs regretting for our poor voice.

Ah! Just by saying those three words, you brought all those memories back to me, making my world complete, my self complete and above all our friend ship complete.

I cannot help my self without smiling all the time and I have never repeated any sentence like this ever in my life, but these three magical words, make me repeat them again and again, returning all colors of my life.

I am deeply amazed by this enchantment.

Thank you my dear friend, for bringing my world, or I should better say, actually your self to me.

In My Words ...

o_0 Wooooops!

I didn’t know that I don’t have a right to dream.

Can anyone stop time for me, please?!

New seat belt law

From Pakistan to United States of America

Rickshaw Literature

A night to remember

Birthday in USA!

Should abortion be abolished or not?

Because my love I trust you a lot ...

Mystifying moon and you!

Invisible children

Awww! =)

12th Rabial Awal

Cute

Fun In Snow.

=) * Anna * =)

I got what I wanted!

When dreams come true

I'm hurt, I really am.

Explore, Dream, Discover

My Dad!

My friend my life ...!

He and She

Why to write a diary?

My answers to some questions

The happiness I feel at your achievements

Diversity

Best Friend

My Family

Last time I saw my mother was 15 years ago…

Weird things about me!

From Pak to USA!

LOL! I have NO clue, what in the world made me write any thing like this? LOL

"I am"

"Where ever I go … "

"When you come around here"

Haiku

Daily Scadual

I don't know where I am lost .......!

Miss You Dear!

Miss You Dear!

LOL ! but true though !

True Love

Difference

Pessimism

*Love*

Love is in the air ...... !

Lacrosse! 'sore'

American High school

I don’t know where I am lost…!

Change In My World

Love